Buckingham Translated

I normally don't pay much attention to Boston Herald columnist Ginny Buckingham, but I just got my GOP Operative-to-English translator back from the shop (the poor thing fried itself trying to make sense of Tim O'Brien's meaningless babel last fall) and I decided I should test it out. Here's Buckingham's latest column on John Kerry, translated for your benefit:

Dear John Kerry,
   Please please please please run for President so you won't be able to run for re-election to the Senate. The Mass GOP is in some trouble and could use an open seat or two to run for in 2008.

Thanks for your consideration,
Ginny Buckingham

PS. I heard that Barack Obama is a secret Muslim! Pass it on!

Seriously, though, that whole "Obama went to a madrassa in Indonesia" thing that Buckingham oh-so-innocently brings up: it's a lie.